KneePads

Hi SR fam!

So, last night on my way home from a class, I had to stop to get milk.

I went into the shop, got the milk and a couple of snacky bits and then thought “Oh, I wonder if they have my cbd drinks back in stock? I’ll go check” (I love cbd drinks. They don’t contain any THC, or give you any sort of high, they contain plant botanicals and vitamins and I just love them!)…

The supermarket have the cbd drinks next to the start of the booze shelves in this particular shop.

Anyway, as I was looking for my favourite ‘elderflower and yuzu’ flavour, my eyes wandered to the right. They have all these strong (8%) bottled ciders called ‘Katy’s’ on the shelf which we used to buy loads of. We used to drink a few of those before hitting the wine and we really loved them.

Well, my eyes settled on the Katy’s bottle for a brief moment… AND MY GAG REFLEX KICKED IN! All by itself!! I think I imagined sipping the first sip or something and knowing how strong it is (like someone poured a load of vodka into fizzy apple juice) and I literally gagged!! I was so happy that happened! I haven’t ever been sober as long as this before, so I didn’t know things like this could even happen. But I am SO pleased it did!

I see it as a sign that even though some days I am just going through the motions of sobriety,
somewhere up there in my brain, there is all this extra subconscious work going on, even when I am not doing anything.

I want to hear about your little yay moments that just jumped out of nowhere that made you suddenly realise “I think I’ve got this…”

Love you all, forever xxx

SproutLife

This is the best stinking story, thank you so much for sharing!!!

DriGuy

It may be a sign of progress as you come to realized some of the things about alcoholism you thought were great are in reality, not that great at all. I've never experienced the gag thing myself, just a mild disdain over the presence of alcohol.

I've noticed this a lot in the later years of recovery when I stop and realize how much better things are getting when it seems like I haven't lifted a finger to make anything better. But that's a bit misleading too, because when I think more about it, I realize that spotting areas that need change and acting on them has been happening. It's just that they seem more automatic rather than forced.

I've said this before, but never in response to this specific question. By far, the biggest yay moment was one day when I realized a whole week, or maybe 5 days had pasted when I hadn't even thought about alcohol. That stunned me after years of constant craving, temporarily quelled by drinking, and months of more hideous craving as I was transitioning into recovery.

The next yay moment that comes to mind was the time about 6 months in when I was offered some wine at dinner, and I had that thought, that I had done so well, that surely I could now drink with restraint. But that yay lasted for about 2 seconds, and was followed by the horror of realizing how vulnerable I was to that one trigger that wrecks recovery for so many alcoholics every day. However, mixed in with the horror and the yay, was a somewhat subdued yay that being prepared for that moment months in advance, probably saved me from drinking for the rest of my life. But I don't know that for sure. Maybe I could have begun recovery a second time, but that's like playing Russian Roulette with only one empty chamber in the pistol.

Gymbunny7

Like Driguy one of my yay moments have been everyday. The realisation of seeing the complete fear of stopping really wasn't all that. The fear wasn't warranted.

I did have 2 fill out a medical form and usual questions do you drink, and as I'm sure we've all done, yes I drink on average 8 units a week hahahaha did feel good ticking the no box and actually being truthful.

MLD51

I remember when I realized that I actually found the thought of drinking disgusting. It was maybe a couple of weeks into sobriety. I was just revolted by the thought. I wouldn't say I still have that strong of a reaction most of the time now (9 years and a few months sober), it's more of just knowing I don't want or need it. I can see other people drink, and unless they get sloppy, I barely notice. I'm just detached from it. Most of the time. If I have a weak moment when that stupid AV kicks in, a few seconds of "what if" is enough to get me back to feeling really disgusted by the idea. That feeling has served me well for many years. I'm glad it's still there when I need it.

ThatWasTheOldMe

Alcohol is nasty. That smart brain of yours knows that KneePads

Zencat

Great post Knee.

My "yea" moment came slowly when I quit drugging and my body and mind recovered better than I hoped. I had to stop using but there was a great fear I would be miserable with no energy in recovery. The opposite of my fears came true. I have more energy than ever. My mind has settled down to a more pleasant mood and attitude. I feel great! I did do the recovery work for my program. "Nothing worth having comes easy" Recovery is the same.

Gymbunny7

I'm having a yay moment currently. Awful lot of stress going on, son relocating across the country, new job starting. Spent last 2 weeks trying to help him get an apartment sorted which thankfully he has now, also obtaining furniture and all the household stuff we collect over the years. Onto actually moving him next. This is prime binge drinking stick your head in the sand territory for me. Was thinking yesterday how much chaos and complete mess I would of added to an already stressful time. Sober and on it. Win win.