SnoozyQ

AJ you sound really good.

Youve obviously put a lot of thought into what you are going to do work wise.
it’s a great decision to cut back those hours and you will start feeling more human again.

I worked in a hospital for many years and the patients would often say to me . Enjoy your life whilst you can. Don’t work too hard and pay for it in your older years .
noones tombstone ever said , I wish I had worked more .

I have a dear friend who works in hospice care.
The thing patients mostly say at the end are, I wish I spent more time with my family.
I wish I didn’t work so hard to buy stuff I didn’t need or get the latest car 🚗 etc.

A 100k car will drive you to the same place a 1k car will
A Rolex watch tells the same time as a cheap wrist watch.
We all should put things into perspective because we can’t take anything with us.

Its the people we love and who love us that really matters.

you’re doing great, here we go day 4 !!

We have all got your back

xx

Bekindalways

Hi AJ, I hope you are finishing up day 3 okay.

Sadly relapses can keep people for years or even decades so I'm super glad you came right back to sobriety.

I try to keep in mind that someone I'm supporting who is new to sobriety may be supporting me after a relapse sometime in the future. It is just reality for everyone of us and the shame is just killer.

God speed good person.

AJ143143

Thank you everyone. I’m doing pretty ok tonight. Zero urge to drink today. Went to my dads and spent time with him and my stepmom. For the first time ever I told them I decided to stop drinking. None of my friends or family ever thought I drank too much so I didn’t go into detail. I mostly blamed it on trying to lose weight as the reason for not drinking. It still felt good to say out loud that I’m not drinking. My dad doesn’t drink (maybe 10 drinks a year) same with my step mom. But it still felt good to know that at thanksgiving I wouldn’t be drinking at dinner. I’m proud of myself for saying it out loud. I started looking for new jobs today. Same field but different company. I also ended a friendship with a man that I wanted more than friendship with. We dated for a few months in the past and then he said he didn’t want a monogamous relationship so we had leaned into friendship more but I realized I was still in love with him and I just couldn’t watch him date a bunch. I feel really really sad about it but also proud of myself for recognizing I couldn’t do something and letting it go. I blocked him. I let him know I was not going to be responding for a while but I care about him a lot and wish him the best. I felt immature about blocking him at first but I realized I was obsessing on looking at my phone to see if he called so it’s better I just take a breather. Prayers please. Thank you everyone again.

Pekelover2

Hooray for day three!!

Gymbunny7

AJ your doing exactly what you should your dealing and addressing your triggers. Your job your male friend you realise these are causing you emotional turmoil. It's hard having to learn how to deal with these situations without alcohol as a crutch. I'm in exactly the same situation it does feel good though when you see a situation arising when you'd clearly go to alcohol and zone out but you step back and deal with that situation without it. Good job.

Alpine

AJ that is great! Like some others here I too worked in healthcare for close to 30 years with the older population and they always told me to enjoy my years and not to waste them and money is NOT everything..Time is which you can never get back. Got me thinking because I was working so many hours and wanted to work more to earn more...and for what..? I was stressed and miserable.

Cityboy

AJ, it sounds like you are taking a healthy systemic approach. Perhaps we've all had to let go of some things and unhealthy relationships in order to grow in sobriety.

AJ143143

Thank you everyone. Sad today. But I can get through it

AJ143143

I decided to stop working early today and to go get something I’ve wanted for a while now cosmetically speaking. I’m going to take a nap and wake up and work from home tonight. Proud of myself for doing something for myself today and letting off the work peddle.

Cityboy

Cosmetically speaking. I'm assuming it's not to try a new ice cream place, lol.

fishkiller

Self care is very important.
Do what makes You Happy

AJ143143

Thank you all. Day 5 has begun. No cravings to drink yet. Last night I was really emotional but didn’t have a desire to drink it away. I did have a desire to numb the hurt feelings but not with alcohol… more like with tv shows and chocolate.

zoobadger

Blocking him to punish him and make him feel bad is immature. Blocking him so that you can make a clean break and move on, and not be tempted to wade back into a relationship on terms you're not happy with, is a totally healthy and adult thing to do, I think.

AJ143143

Thank you all … heading to bed. Tomorrow is day 6… a few of my girlfriends wanted to hang out Saturday but I suggested breakfast so that’s what we are doing. I did this so I wouldn’t be tempted to drink … another girlfriend wanted to get dinner tonight. I told her maybe tomorrow so I can plan ahead and get a workout in… feel mentally prepared to not have wine with dinner etc. I love this friend but she drinks often. I just need to go somewhere with her that doesn’t scream alcohol. Also I don’t drive even after 1 drink. I never have. So maybe just drive there. Either way. Things are looking up.

TiredCarpenter

Well said.

AJ143143

I’m sad tonight. I wanted to drink tonight for the first time in a while. I played the tape forward and I didn’t drink. I’m in bed with some local icecream instead. I walked 7 miles total today (before and after work). I’m just sad I guess.

Bekindalways

Yep the downs come along on occasion. You may be grieving this guy or maybe something else. Let the sadness come and let it go.

Going to bed often feels like hitting reset on life. I hope you wake up feeling better.

Onward fine person!

AJ143143

thank you. I’m watching YouTube videos on the benefits of not drinking. Cuddling my cute cat. Let myself cry. Feeling a bit better

Gymbunny7

Hi AJ I think this is an example of learning to navigate triggers without alcohol. I'm doing the same I've had numerous triggers when I've realised I would have drank then. It's learning to do things differently. I'm kinda approaching this as a huge learning curve and most days are really good but sometimes I get a feeling of panic around the thought of can I really do this and I try to step back and rethink and see well I am actually doing it and also slow down just taking one day at a time.

Your triggers definitely your work load and sounds like this guy would be one. It's definitely ok to be sad we're only human. Your starting to do things differently knowing your enemy is half the battle. You can so definitely do this AJ we are all far more capable than we know. When your sad allow yourself to be sad let that emotion out im doing this and it's really helping. Im starting to realise i can cope without switching off and turning to alcohol which only leads me to more chaos.

You can definitely do this, we all can.

Alpine

You are doing great and just keep moving forward. Don't let that av win...no matter what. There is no reason to ever drink and it only will make things worse. I kept thinking just one won't hurt then is spun me deeper into the hole that I crawled out of. I love that you did some things for yourself...That is huge and very important. Keep it up.