ugly and fat
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I don't think its helpful to think of yourself as ugly and fat littlesongbird. You are a person that has value, just like the rest of us. Maybe make your physical fitness a project that you can work on for awhile? that's what I did and its kind of fun.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
These are some really good responses littlesongbird. I think many of us addicts have gone through feeling miserable about how look. But, as others have said, positive thinking is so very important. And, being beautiful on the inside is the most important thing.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 319
I never knew a genuinely happy person who wasn't beautiful. Start being kinder and gentler to that girl you see in the pictures, instead of criticism try to have some compassion and I think your pictures and your feelings towards yourself will change for the better. Sending you big hugs and lots of understanding.
I try to think of myself as a team, where there's me my brain, me my body, me my spirit/soul, the various mental versions of myself I carry around and operate on, etc. Then I try to get them all working together toward the same goals. And if one of them starts getting negative, the others will encourage him and get him back to doing his best for the team.
I saw some pictures of myself the other day archived on my phone from about 3 years ago around the worst of my drinking career, I always feel a little startled at the puffy face and a little ashamed at how the drinking puff face was much different than the heavier set, sober me.
It took some real, consistent recovery work for me to start feeling comfortable in my own skin. Some days are better than others, but this is the body I inhabit and the brain that runs it, so I best treat it with respect and kindness.
Part of living sober and healthy is loving yourself, and turning that internal dialogue you keep with yourself takes some daily work just like keeping up with recovery. Learning how to love ourselves and find validation and worth inside of us, for ourselves is part of our journey.
I find that, the gifts I have been given so far in recovery, have really helped me grow empathy and love for myself, kindness and caring, and and the desire to, like thomas says, to make little self-improvement projects.
Little things to make myself better, one thing at a time, nothing too big. Have a nice bath, get a haircut, paint my nails, get a new workout out fit or just a nice new outfit; yoga, meditation and positive affirmations are great! Splurge on some mani/pedis spa days, buy yourself a treat or a gift or even flowers just because. Be your own best friend.
If it's early days and you're still feeling pretty raw, get lots of rest, hydrate well, eat as well as you can manage, move a little, get fresh air, read something positive if you can manage, and lean on the people who understand and care.
Fat and ugly are two four letter words your need to banish from your vocabulary.
Ever looked at yourself in the mirror, in the eyes, and told yourself, "I love you"?
Try it. You deserve to love yourself. So I'm sending you love and hugs, it's going to get better- it always gets better, if we keep working at it. It's an inside job first.
It took some real, consistent recovery work for me to start feeling comfortable in my own skin. Some days are better than others, but this is the body I inhabit and the brain that runs it, so I best treat it with respect and kindness.
Part of living sober and healthy is loving yourself, and turning that internal dialogue you keep with yourself takes some daily work just like keeping up with recovery. Learning how to love ourselves and find validation and worth inside of us, for ourselves is part of our journey.
I find that, the gifts I have been given so far in recovery, have really helped me grow empathy and love for myself, kindness and caring, and and the desire to, like thomas says, to make little self-improvement projects.
Little things to make myself better, one thing at a time, nothing too big. Have a nice bath, get a haircut, paint my nails, get a new workout out fit or just a nice new outfit; yoga, meditation and positive affirmations are great! Splurge on some mani/pedis spa days, buy yourself a treat or a gift or even flowers just because. Be your own best friend.
If it's early days and you're still feeling pretty raw, get lots of rest, hydrate well, eat as well as you can manage, move a little, get fresh air, read something positive if you can manage, and lean on the people who understand and care.
Fat and ugly are two four letter words your need to banish from your vocabulary.
Ever looked at yourself in the mirror, in the eyes, and told yourself, "I love you"?
Try it. You deserve to love yourself. So I'm sending you love and hugs, it's going to get better- it always gets better, if we keep working at it. It's an inside job first.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Sobersville, USA
Posts: 159
I hate pictures of myself. I put on a lot of weight from massive beer and liquor consumption, and I'm having trouble getting it off. It all seems to go to my face, which to me looks horrible.
I know that I need to be kinder to myself and I'm working on that. Along with all the other things in my life I am attempting to fix.
I know that I need to be kinder to myself and I'm working on that. Along with all the other things in my life I am attempting to fix.
I definitely weigh more now I have stopped drinking (about 20lb). When I drank I didn't really eat enough.....got in the way of the buzz (cringe). I am eating more sweet stuff and definitely feel chubby. But I shower every day, I clean my teeth every day, I can look in the mirror and see eyes that look clearer......so all in all that'll do for me. Chubby but sober...... healthier eating will come soon I hope xxx
This came across my feed this morning. I think it might be appropos here. Externals are ****, internal world - the frickin' cat's meow!
Last edited by BatholithBabe; 06-11-2017 at 06:04 AM.
Hi Littlesongbird. I really think that when you quit drinking you will gradually feel better on the inside, which will improve the way you look on the outside. Almost every one of my pictures while I was drinking made me look gross, especially towards the end. My pictures are much better now but looking at the old ones makes me kind of sad. I should have been nicer to that person I was. Maybe then I wouldn't have suffered for so long.
I never knew a genuinely happy person who wasn't beautiful. Start being kinder and gentler to that girl you see in the pictures, instead of criticism try to have some compassion and I think your pictures and your feelings towards yourself will change for the better. Sending you big hugs and lots of understanding.
I never knew a genuinely happy person who wasn't beautiful. Start being kinder and gentler to that girl you see in the pictures, instead of criticism try to have some compassion and I think your pictures and your feelings towards yourself will change for the better. Sending you big hugs and lots of understanding.
Well said!
I saw some pictures of myself the other day archived on my phone from about 3 years ago around the worst of my drinking career, I always feel a little startled at the puffy face and a little ashamed at how the drinking puff face was much different than the heavier set, sober me.
It took some real, consistent recovery work for me to start feeling comfortable in my own skin. Some days are better than others, but this is the body I inhabit and the brain that runs it, so I best treat it with respect and kindness.
Part of living sober and healthy is loving yourself, and turning that internal dialogue you keep with yourself takes some daily work just like keeping up with recovery. Learning how to love ourselves and find validation and worth inside of us, for ourselves is part of our journey.
I find that, the gifts I have been given so far in recovery, have really helped me grow empathy and love for myself, kindness and caring, and and the desire to, like thomas says, to make little self-improvement projects.
Little things to make myself better, one thing at a time, nothing too big. Have a nice bath, get a haircut, paint my nails, get a new workout out fit or just a nice new outfit; yoga, meditation and positive affirmations are great! Splurge on some mani/pedis spa days, buy yourself a treat or a gift or even flowers just because. Be your own best friend.
If it's early days and you're still feeling pretty raw, get lots of rest, hydrate well, eat as well as you can manage, move a little, get fresh air, read something positive if you can manage, and lean on the people who understand and care.
Fat and ugly are two four letter words your need to banish from your vocabulary.
Ever looked at yourself in the mirror, in the eyes, and told yourself, "I love you"?
Try it. You deserve to love yourself. So I'm sending you love and hugs, it's going to get better- it always gets better, if we keep working at it. It's an inside job first.
It took some real, consistent recovery work for me to start feeling comfortable in my own skin. Some days are better than others, but this is the body I inhabit and the brain that runs it, so I best treat it with respect and kindness.
Part of living sober and healthy is loving yourself, and turning that internal dialogue you keep with yourself takes some daily work just like keeping up with recovery. Learning how to love ourselves and find validation and worth inside of us, for ourselves is part of our journey.
I find that, the gifts I have been given so far in recovery, have really helped me grow empathy and love for myself, kindness and caring, and and the desire to, like thomas says, to make little self-improvement projects.
Little things to make myself better, one thing at a time, nothing too big. Have a nice bath, get a haircut, paint my nails, get a new workout out fit or just a nice new outfit; yoga, meditation and positive affirmations are great! Splurge on some mani/pedis spa days, buy yourself a treat or a gift or even flowers just because. Be your own best friend.
If it's early days and you're still feeling pretty raw, get lots of rest, hydrate well, eat as well as you can manage, move a little, get fresh air, read something positive if you can manage, and lean on the people who understand and care.
Fat and ugly are two four letter words your need to banish from your vocabulary.
Ever looked at yourself in the mirror, in the eyes, and told yourself, "I love you"?
Try it. You deserve to love yourself. So I'm sending you love and hugs, it's going to get better- it always gets better, if we keep working at it. It's an inside job first.
yeah, sometimes I do. Even now. I try to be aware of that sort of thinking, and then respond to it with more self acceptance and love.
engaging in therapy with honesty about these sorts of thoughts and feelings has been really helpful.
engaging in therapy with honesty about these sorts of thoughts and feelings has been really helpful.
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