freedomfries

Good for you hfk.

hellofellowkids

Yes I agree Anna. Out of sight out of mind. Thanks ff.

Pekelover2

RAL-sorry bout the rough journey. I hope you’re okay.

Feeling sad. Sorry I’m not of much support here. Riding with a friend tomorrow early.
54 years old. My life is always the same, ppl ignoring me. Not making eye contact. Met with a bunch of ppl. Eight total. No one looking at me. I’ve noticed this for years. Even when it’s my turn to speak. Ppl look down at their cups/food. I’m invisible. No eye contact.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

freedomfries

I'm sorry that's been your experience. Wishing you a pleasant day tomorrow.

venuscat

Hey Peke, remember that young woman who ran with the guys at lunch so she could stay up with the latest chats on genetic coding and other lovely science things?
Even if you don't quite feel it, she is always with you, and she is strong.

We see you, and so do your running mates, I am sure. s ❤️

RAL

sorry you've had a rough day Peke. I find many people don' tmake eye contact as nervous or busy etc. It's not about you

ChopStickCheese

I missed out, but congrats on your first year of sobriety!

Dee74

Thing is, whether they’re looking at you or not, it doesn’t diminish your worth PL. It’s not a you problem, it’s a them problem.

D

Pekelover2

Venus, Dee, RAL, FF-
Thank you so much..
I don’t feel Ike going on about it here. Maybe I’ll post on the main board.
I’m 54. My life is passing me by. It’s too much to want stuff to change at this point.

Hawkeye13

Hey Peke I am reading (well listening on Audible actually) to a book called The Untethered Soul which I am really finding enlightening and helpful in terms of how I have always valued myself so much only in relation to how others have valued me—I also come from problematic mother in my childhood too which set the stage for that.

Have a look—the first two chapters really gave me a few insights and were comforting to me to understand why and how I got this way, and what I could do about it. The inner critic inside my head always has had me on edge. Maybe you too?

Dee74

That's just not true PL.
Is it hard work - sure but I'm guessing you've worked hard before

Its never too late to become the person you were always meant to be.

hellofellowkids

2 days done. Wanted to smoke a cig but I had some coca cola instead. Stomach stopped hurting. I can eat normally again.

Dee74

good news HFK

D

RAL

Morning all

Great going on 2 days HFK

Peke-54 is not old nowadays. I'm only a few years behind you and certainly do not feel that I'm too told to change anything. I say this with gentleness and kindness but perhaps you are having that post drinking depression/anxiety a few days after your last drink. you know the one that makes us think oh just pick up and it will make us feel better. I get it, it's normal. The good thing is if we don't pick up it goes away. I know my anxiety, paranoia and depression are much much better and levelled out at just a few weeks sober. yours can be too.

Had a lovely sleep to make up for no sleep the previous night. Feel human again Is lying on the sofa watching TV shows an acceptable way to spend a saturday

So when I woke up this morning and was making coffee I thought oh I didn't think about drinking the last few nights. I realise it now seems normal NOT to drink. I know I'm early into this and only a few weeks sober but I remember with LT sobriety how it does feel normal and the thoughts of drinking are rare and fleeting. In the early days you genuinely never think that can happen-that you will always be thinking of drinking. but it isn't the case.
of course I;m only a few weeks in so treading carefully. Take care all and happy sober saturday x

freedomfries

Day 32. No desire to drink at the moment. But I'm sure the AV will come back in full force the second I leave the hospital on Tuesday. I need to have a plan for Tuesday. Hopefully I'll be released early enough on Tuesday that I can get to the lunch AA meeting. If I can't do that I'll do NA in the evening. I feel a bit weird attending NA while still taking benzos though.

RAL

I think if the meds are prescribed FF and taken as prescribed then it doesn't count. I take an anti d daily and diazepam very occasionally, which I get on prescription.

freedomfries

​​​​​​. I guess. But I do have a history of abusing benzos I know there's no issues with my other meds, the anti psychotics and all.

freedomfries

I'll have a follow up appt with a psychiatrist a few weeks after leaving. I might ask to reduce the valium then rather than playing doctor myself. The ativan I imagine ends on discharge.

Oglsby

Hi Peke,
I have never been so happy to be 52 in my life, because finally I have my life together. I know it is hard to feel like you are acknowledged by others, as I used to feel that way too. I did come to realize that it was mostly not about me. Most people are wrapped up in their own lives and aren't really paying attention to others that intently. I did have a few friends from younger that I decided I was not really close to anymore, and it helped me to move on in other positive ways in life. You have come so far on your journey. Just stay sober and don't drink at all, and I promise it will pass and you will have more self confidence. It's also OK if you are introverted. I am a bit of both and sometimes being around others is very tiring for me. I have a smaller circle of really great friends now and I have found that I am happier that way.

RAL--I can really relate to your post. I think if so many people could just make it those first few weeks the confidence they would get and the lessening of anxiety, etc would propel them forward. I never knew that was possible until I attained that for myself. I think that is when the real growth begins.

HFK: Congrats on two days. Just keep grinding it out. You will feel significantly better in 5-6 days.

FF: Very proud of you. You sound so much better. I would not overthink the medications as long as you are taking them as prescribed. Many of us have to take medications.

RAL

I know but it's what you are doing now and whether you are abusing them now that matters, not what you did in the past