Can you suggest a book?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Princeton
Posts: 1
Can you suggest a book?
Hi,
I am an ACOA so, of course, I have to help, but my inlaws are taking in their nephew (40 something) who is a drug addict. He has gone to rehab several times and has been divorced several times but is married now. He was living in his own place where he had a paper route. His dad had to do it for him on the mornings he couldn't get up??? He says he is recovering and his father has decided not to bail him out with money etc any more. I am worried about my in laws because my father in law is not well and I don't want them to be upset or overwhelmed. Is there anything I could send them to read that would help them support their nephew and know what groundrules they should set? Should they make a condidtion that he attend NA meetings? Any suggestions would be appreciated!
Lucia
I am an ACOA so, of course, I have to help, but my inlaws are taking in their nephew (40 something) who is a drug addict. He has gone to rehab several times and has been divorced several times but is married now. He was living in his own place where he had a paper route. His dad had to do it for him on the mornings he couldn't get up??? He says he is recovering and his father has decided not to bail him out with money etc any more. I am worried about my in laws because my father in law is not well and I don't want them to be upset or overwhelmed. Is there anything I could send them to read that would help them support their nephew and know what groundrules they should set? Should they make a condidtion that he attend NA meetings? Any suggestions would be appreciated!
Lucia
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
The NA Basic Text might help them. As far as requiring NA meetings, if he's going to be living in their house, they have the right to set whatever ground rules they choose. Two of my four children are legal adults and still live at home, and though they don't have issues with addiction, they do have house rules they must follow -- including doing chores & honoring curfews -- and there are consequences if they choose not to follow the rules.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Evolving Addict
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York State
Posts: 3,067
Book referral? The NA Basic Text is a book written by addicts for addicts. I don't know if it would help the inlaws to read it, but it sure can help the nephew...if he's open. I don't believe there's any NA literature specifically written to assist the families of drug addicts. As far as forcing the nephew to go to meetings is concerned...I personally don't buy into that one. IMO, people who get the most out of what NA has to offer are those who come freely.
It is what it is!!!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,767
I agree, it is Alanon information they need, not NA.
And I have seen lots of people come in over the years forced by the courts that stay when they no longer are required. If I had an adult living in my house in this kind of situation, I think I would set rules. I would give then chores, I would not do their paper route or anything for them. I would charge rent and require meetings. You never know when they may have a second of clarity and hear something that keeps them coming back.
But definatley, they need Alanon.
And I have seen lots of people come in over the years forced by the courts that stay when they no longer are required. If I had an adult living in my house in this kind of situation, I think I would set rules. I would give then chores, I would not do their paper route or anything for them. I would charge rent and require meetings. You never know when they may have a second of clarity and hear something that keeps them coming back.
But definatley, they need Alanon.
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