The Fallacy that I Must Know What's Going on to Justify Leaving
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,857
The Fallacy that I Must Know What's Going on to Justify Leaving
Dear friends
As part of the process of leaving one of my jobs, I have come to a truth I want to share with you. As always, it's Principles above Personalities.
1. I don't have to know that someone is an addict to justify leaving them. I don't have to know what their addiction is. If they are out of control, the reason(s) for that are none of my business.
2. The triangulation they employ to take others prisoner is reason enough for me to depart.
3. The "siblings" are staying in the "family" because of personal reasons. That too, is none of my business.
4. We make decisions to observe red flags, not ignore them.
5. One of the biggest benefits of recovery, is that we do not repeat past mistakes.
6. We live soberly, not getting entangled in personal sin, nor the sins of others.
As part of the process of leaving one of my jobs, I have come to a truth I want to share with you. As always, it's Principles above Personalities.
1. I don't have to know that someone is an addict to justify leaving them. I don't have to know what their addiction is. If they are out of control, the reason(s) for that are none of my business.
2. The triangulation they employ to take others prisoner is reason enough for me to depart.
3. The "siblings" are staying in the "family" because of personal reasons. That too, is none of my business.
4. We make decisions to observe red flags, not ignore them.
5. One of the biggest benefits of recovery, is that we do not repeat past mistakes.
6. We live soberly, not getting entangled in personal sin, nor the sins of others.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 9,012
Eauchiche, your post made me think of this post that was bumped in the Friends and Family of substance abusers forum yesterday:
The Twelve Steps of Insanity
1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing - that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone else who would allow us.
2. Came to believe there was no power greater than ourselves, and the rest of the world was insane.
3. Made a decision to have our loved ones and friends turn their wills and lives over to our care even though they couldn't understand us at all.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of everyone we knew.
5. Admitted to the whole world at large the exact nature of everyone else's wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to make others straighten up and do right.
7. Demanded others to either "shape up or ship out."
8. Made a list of all persons who had harmed us and became willing to go to any length to get even with them all.
9. Got direct revenge on such people wherever possible except when to do so would cost us our own lives or, at the very least, a jail sentence.
10. Continued to take the inventory of others, and when they were wrong, promptly and repeatedly told them about it.
11. Sought through bitching and nagging to improve our relations with others as we couldn't understand them at all, asking only that they knuckle under and do things our way.
12. Having had a complete physical, emotional and spiritual breakdown as the result of these steps, we tried to blame it on others and to get sympathy and pity in all our affairs
1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing - that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone else who would allow us.
2. Came to believe there was no power greater than ourselves, and the rest of the world was insane.
3. Made a decision to have our loved ones and friends turn their wills and lives over to our care even though they couldn't understand us at all.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of everyone we knew.
5. Admitted to the whole world at large the exact nature of everyone else's wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to make others straighten up and do right.
7. Demanded others to either "shape up or ship out."
8. Made a list of all persons who had harmed us and became willing to go to any length to get even with them all.
9. Got direct revenge on such people wherever possible except when to do so would cost us our own lives or, at the very least, a jail sentence.
10. Continued to take the inventory of others, and when they were wrong, promptly and repeatedly told them about it.
11. Sought through bitching and nagging to improve our relations with others as we couldn't understand them at all, asking only that they knuckle under and do things our way.
12. Having had a complete physical, emotional and spiritual breakdown as the result of these steps, we tried to blame it on others and to get sympathy and pity in all our affairs
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: maine
Posts: 1,595
Originally Posted by Eauchiche 
1. I don't have to know that someone is an addict to justify leaving them. I don't have to know what their addiction is. If they are out of control, the reason(s) for that are none of my business.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 9,012
I want to clarify that the post I copied here isn't meant to be strictly serious - it's a bit tongue in cheek. Don't want any newcomers thinking anyone here is saying that is how they are.
Everyone has their own reasons for staying or not.
Everyone has their own reasons for staying or not.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,857
Originally Posted by velma929
......................... leaving someone 'who has a disease' would be considered heartless and mean...................
I saw a replay of this yesterday during the goings on. The spouse promised "in sickness and in health," once upon a time.
When the afflicted one turns into someone down in a deep hole crying for others to join them, it's time to leave.
When they turn into a turtle on its back saying "help me, help me," be sure to avoid the claws. They are razor sharp.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
