Vent warning.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Vent warning.
Huge edit just this
If it's any consolation I am finally utilizing the forum for it's intent which is to earnestly pursue sobriety. I am really, really trying this time and it has been years and I just don't want to be another statistic- a statistic of LD, a statistic of an abusive upbringing, a statistic of anxiety disorders and alcoholism. I don't know if there's any hope of that but all of you here have helped me get this far.
If it's any consolation I am finally utilizing the forum for it's intent which is to earnestly pursue sobriety. I am really, really trying this time and it has been years and I just don't want to be another statistic- a statistic of LD, a statistic of an abusive upbringing, a statistic of anxiety disorders and alcoholism. I don't know if there's any hope of that but all of you here have helped me get this far.
Oh, sleepie...please don't not post! You are NOT driving anyone nuts. The whole purpose of SR is to be a place where people can post whenever they want; whether it be a vent or a call for help or just to have a place to say what they are feeling.
Please...don't ever feel like you are posting too much! We are here to listen, to empathize, to understand, and sometimes to respond. You are ALWAYS welcome to post, Sleepie! (((HUGS)))
Please...don't ever feel like you are posting too much! We are here to listen, to empathize, to understand, and sometimes to respond. You are ALWAYS welcome to post, Sleepie! (((HUGS)))
Yeah, I guess I did. But in any case, I truly hope you don't feel like you post too much. We want you to post as much as you feel the need. After all...that's what this place is here for.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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Whoops busted... I don't want to dominate anyone's attention though. I do try and get over to newcomers and support too though.
A small victory tonight with some karmic consequence I'm sure... I have a major bug phobia. A big old nasty cicada followed me into the apartment tonight, loud and flying and enormous and awful, if you happen to dislike bugs. A perfect nightmare if you are a bug-a-phobe. After many hours it tired itself out and I got as close to it as I ever have to any bug willingly with a small, clear bowl I found here where I am house sitting. I mean I had to work up the nerve to enter the kitchen for near 3 hours. I placed it over the bug. It flapped around and flopped on it's back, it's underside looks reptilian to me and I was soooo willied out! I fled. But I FELT SO GOOD conquering that nasty, nasty critter. But I feel awful it will suffocate. What an awful way to go.
A small victory tonight with some karmic consequence I'm sure... I have a major bug phobia. A big old nasty cicada followed me into the apartment tonight, loud and flying and enormous and awful, if you happen to dislike bugs. A perfect nightmare if you are a bug-a-phobe. After many hours it tired itself out and I got as close to it as I ever have to any bug willingly with a small, clear bowl I found here where I am house sitting. I mean I had to work up the nerve to enter the kitchen for near 3 hours. I placed it over the bug. It flapped around and flopped on it's back, it's underside looks reptilian to me and I was soooo willied out! I fled. But I FELT SO GOOD conquering that nasty, nasty critter. But I feel awful it will suffocate. What an awful way to go.
Since it is under the bowl, maybe try to slip a plate under there and see if the bug will crawl onto it? Then you can take the plate and bowl outside and set the cicada free?
I remember once, many years ago, I lived in a house with about an acre of land around it and when it would rain, I could see the tarantulas out in the yard. Well, one day, one of them got into the house and I was frantic. I finally steeled up the nerve to do what you did...cover it with a large bowl. I then put a bunch of books on top of the bowl and waited until my fiance got home. He slid a plate under the bowl and then deposited the spider outside. I will always remember that, but I don't think I would ever have the courage to actually do it because I hear the tarantulas can jump! AAAAACK!!!
I remember once, many years ago, I lived in a house with about an acre of land around it and when it would rain, I could see the tarantulas out in the yard. Well, one day, one of them got into the house and I was frantic. I finally steeled up the nerve to do what you did...cover it with a large bowl. I then put a bunch of books on top of the bowl and waited until my fiance got home. He slid a plate under the bowl and then deposited the spider outside. I will always remember that, but I don't think I would ever have the courage to actually do it because I hear the tarantulas can jump! AAAAACK!!!
Eeeeeewww.....cicadas. Hideous and MENTAL - bad combo. At least suffocation is a lot better than fly spray. It will just go to sleep slowly :-) I always get my partner to take those repulsive monstrosities outside to spare them being poisoned to death. Well done. I couldn't do that at all. 3 hours is legendary in my books!
P.S. A 'professional' should never, ever make you feel like that. Really bad form. Sorry you had to experience that. 2 mgs is fantastic....you are nearly there!
P.S. A 'professional' should never, ever make you feel like that. Really bad form. Sorry you had to experience that. 2 mgs is fantastic....you are nearly there!
That's a big motivator for me too sleepie; I don't want to be a helpless statistic, I want to control what I become.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,232
Huge edit just this
If it's any consolation I am finally utilizing the forum for it's intent which is to earnestly pursue sobriety. I am really, really trying this time and it has been years and I just don't want to be another statistic- a statistic of LD, a statistic of an abusive upbringing, a statistic of anxiety disorders and alcoholism. I don't know if there's any hope of that but all of you here have helped me get this far.
If it's any consolation I am finally utilizing the forum for it's intent which is to earnestly pursue sobriety. I am really, really trying this time and it has been years and I just don't want to be another statistic- a statistic of LD, a statistic of an abusive upbringing, a statistic of anxiety disorders and alcoholism. I don't know if there's any hope of that but all of you here have helped me get this far.
Now fast forward many of those same folks who treated me poorly are very uncomfortable around me. and often intimidated by me. Like oh know he showed us and he's full of suprises no telling what he might do.
But it all kinda started with this shift if my head the switch had been thrown i was done going the one way and started heading the other.
Whoops busted... I don't want to dominate anyone's attention though. I do try and get over to newcomers and support too though.
A small victory tonight with some karmic consequence I'm sure... I have a major bug phobia. A big old nasty cicada followed me into the apartment tonight, loud and flying and enormous and awful, if you happen to dislike bugs. A perfect nightmare if you are a bug-a-phobe. After many hours it tired itself out and I got as close to it as I ever have to any bug willingly with a small, clear bowl I found here where I am house sitting. I mean I had to work up the nerve to enter the kitchen for near 3 hours. I placed it over the bug. It flapped around and flopped on it's back, it's underside looks reptilian to me and I was soooo willied out! I fled. But I FELT SO GOOD conquering that nasty, nasty critter. But I feel awful it will suffocate. What an awful way to go.
A small victory tonight with some karmic consequence I'm sure... I have a major bug phobia. A big old nasty cicada followed me into the apartment tonight, loud and flying and enormous and awful, if you happen to dislike bugs. A perfect nightmare if you are a bug-a-phobe. After many hours it tired itself out and I got as close to it as I ever have to any bug willingly with a small, clear bowl I found here where I am house sitting. I mean I had to work up the nerve to enter the kitchen for near 3 hours. I placed it over the bug. It flapped around and flopped on it's back, it's underside looks reptilian to me and I was soooo willied out! I fled. But I FELT SO GOOD conquering that nasty, nasty critter. But I feel awful it will suffocate. What an awful way to go.
I read a lot more than I post and I see you around SR, with all kinds of positive, and supportive posts. You are insightful and kind and I appreciate your presence here.
Just sayin'
Rose
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