flyflyaway08

ok so! i haven't had a drink in 25 days. the first two weeks was pretty liberatinig? if that's the right word to use. i had dream after dream after dream of me going out, saying i wasn't going to drink, and ending up, of course, drinking. see, i'm 23. i've only been drinking for 6 years. and heavily for only almost 3. i didnt drink every day. but every weekend, and occasionally during the week. i wanted to be drinking all the time though. it was all i thought about. still all i think about. well, not completely anymore. either way i thought i'd be in a totally better place not drinking and i'm finding myself still unhappy. still bored. still feeling lonely at times! i've said i was pmsing for the past 3 weeks my dad's getting sick of it. i mean i'm not in a **** mood ALL the time but, enough that yea he's got the ****** end of it a few times. i'm reading this book, each day new beginning. little green book. awesome. it really helps.

OK so. i know i've got to get to a meeting. both my parents are recovered. my 40 year old brother just quit. and my 30 year old brother. yea so i haven't technicaly lost anything yet. except time. money. and my brothers in a way. i'm very spiritual so i have no problem with the concept of turning my life over to my higher power and taking it from there. i've already done that? but the meeting thing ... i'm so confused as to why i just dont get the hell up and go. am i afraid? i can't talk to my family. i feel like they're so, heard it all, done it all, blablabla.

Ceres

25 Days - That's excellent!

Just put one foot in front of the other and go to a meeting, try it on for size. :-)

There's women only meetings if you might be more comfortable. I called the hotline 'cause I was so petrified. They had a woman pick me up and accompany me. She became my sponsor and very dear friend. Now I have many very dear AA friends. And I'm a lot less crazy! Which, if you know me - is a very good thing considering I'm still crazy ;-) But, a happier crazy!

RobbyRobot

Great 25 days in is excellent!

Don't be too hard on yourself. You're procastinating some yes? and it goes with the alcoholic condition. For sure you'll need to get more into action or you will slide backwards, imo. Holding on by your fingertips is no way to achieve lasting sobriety. Jump right into the whole game and you'll get results for your efforts. It starts off being difficult, no way around that really, but it will get better as the days become weeks and then months and so on. Stay with it!

Welcome to SR

RobbyRobot

Boleo

There is an old joke about not wanting to go to meetings:

Sponcee - How long do I have to go to meetings?

Sponsor - Until you WANT TO GO to meetings.

I know it sounds silly, but at some point in my recovery, I started TO WANT TO GO to meetings. I guess it was the promise:

"We will lose interesest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows."

that made the difference. That is how I know the promises are real. Because I even got the ones I never wanted.

Music

Pardon me....I'm grinning......well actually, I'm laughing...but just a little bit. Hope you don't mind. I'm getting tickled at reading your post. Cute!! Heck, why go out to a meeting? You can start one at home with all that sobriety around you. I'll tell you what! If you came to a meeting I was at, I''d listen to you talk.....love it!! Just go to a freakin' meeting. Ask your dad, or one of your brothers to take you. My wife took me to my first one. You'll be fine.

CarolD

Welcome to our SR 12 Step Support Forum....

Glad you are heading in the correct direction....forward!

keithj

I wanted nothing to do with that promise when I first came in. It just didn't sound like me at all.

Funny thing is, it came true anyway. In spite of me.

flyflyaway08

thanks for the encouragement. i needed it more than anything. this week my goal is to get to a meeting. i already feel so much better after getting on this website. thanks again