Why Sober Sex is the Best Sex


Sober Recovery Expert Author

Many people buy into the idea that alcohol and drugs make the perfect aphrodisiac. However, it only seems that way because these substances ease our inhibitions about sex. On one hand, it gets the conversation going and can easily turn a wallflower into the life of the party. On the other, this seemingly perfect social cure can easily become the purveyor of arguments, fights or incomprehensible demoralization. Despite alcohol’s reputation of being a social lubricant, it can actually affect your libido and delay or prevent orgasm. The truth is that sober sex is not only healthier, but it’s also more fun, exciting, passionate and meaningful.

Here are 5 reasons why sex without alcohol is really the best you’ve ever had.

Sober sex is not only healthier, but it’s also more fun, exciting, passionate and meaningful.

1. You remember it.

One of the best things about sober sex is that you actually remember it. Gone are the days of blackout sex and not knowing what happened the night before. Sober sex gives you an opportunity to truly get intimate with your partner. It allows you to be vulnerable and open to giving and receiving. When all is said and done, it’s nice to actually smile instead of cringe at flashbacks of last night’s passionate love-making.

2. You wake up with no regrets.

Have you ever gone out for a night of drinking only to wake up with “Cousin Itt” from the Addams Family the next day? You and this person probably had the time of your lives flirting for hours in what seemed like love at first sight. And through the haze of a few drinks and some well-positioned drugs you might have thought they were a dream come true. That is, until you find yourself in a pickle the next morning. Sober sex spares you of the regretful moment of figuring out what to do with a stranger in your bed.

3. You enjoy it more.

Sex is meant to be intimate and good. Sober sex means you’re no longer hiding behind a substance and are taking the time to really get to know someone first. It’s an opportunity to have a new experience with your spouse or partner. Sober sex invites you to get into the moment when your sensations are clearer and communicate both verbally and physically with your partner. You get to explore what feels good and what doesn’t. Through sober sex, you and your partner can find the gateway to real orgasm and bliss unfiltered by drugs and alcohol.

4. You avoid sexual problems caused by drugs and alcohol.

Did you know that sex is actually good for your health? According to sexual health expert, Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D., healthy people who are sexually active have fewer sick days from work. Sex boosts your immune system, reduces stress, lowers blood pressure and promotes restful sleep. There’s also nothing like a good orgasm to ease the pain of chronic leg and back pain.

However, alcohol, which is a central nervous system depressant, slows down normal body functions like respiration and circulation. After years of abuse, it can make reaching orgasm difficult. It can cause men to take longer in getting an erection and promotes vaginal dryness in women. Alcohol also dehydrates the body, and decreases blood flow and nerve sensitivity in the genital areas. While drugs like ecstasy (MDMA), marijuana and cocaine may seem to amplify your sexual experience, over time they may actually lead to sexual problems like low libido, inability to orgasm and erectile dysfunction.

5. You have true ownership over your decisions.

Sobriety doesn’t just wipe away all questionable behavior but it does keep you accountable for your actions. While under the influence of drugs and alcohol, it is much easier to go with the flow in any given moment. However, by doing so, you open yourself to the risk of sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV and Hepatitis C and the possibility of sexual violence. Sobriety is now an opportunity to make smart decisions when it comes to sex and be someone you can be proud of when the sun comes up.

Everyone deserves to be loved fully and completely. Through sobriety, you have a chance to experience a type of love that is true and untainted.

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