JT

Millions of people are affected by the excessive drinking of someone close. The following twenty questions are designed to help you decide whether or not you need Al-Anon:

1.Do you worry about how much someone else drinks?

2.Do you have money problems because of someone else's drinking?

3.Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else's drinking?

4.Do you feel that if the drinker loved you, he or she would stop drinking, to please you?

5.Do you blame the drinker's behavior on his or her companions?

6.Are plans frequently upset, or cancelled, or meals delayed because of the drinker?

7.Do you make threats, such as, "If you don't stop drinking, I'll leave you"?

8.Do you secretly try to smell the drinker's breath?

9.Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a drinking bout?

10.Have you been hurt or embarrassed by a drinker's behavior?

11.Are holidays and gatherings spoiled because of drinking?

12.Have you considered calling the police for help in fear of abuse?

13.Do you search for hidden alcohol?

14.Do you often ride in a car with a driver who has been drinking?

15.Have you refused social invitations out of fear or anxiety?

16.Do you sometimes feel like a failure when you think of the lengths you have gone to control the drinker?

17.Do you think that, if the drinker stopped drinking, your other problems would be solved?

18.Do you ever threaten to hurt yourself to scare the drinker?

19.Do you feel angry, confused or depressed most of the time?

20.Do you feel there is no one who understands your problems?

If you have answered 'yes' to three or more of these questions, Al-Anon or Alateen may help.

Ann

JT I could only answer no to three of those. Change drink to drug and that is me.

So glad I found a 12-step program and this board.

Thanks for posting this.

Sunshine Song

Thanks for this post. I sent this test to my (ex) A's family in hopes they'd realize it's not only the A who needs help and meetings.

Sunshine Song

Thanks for this post. I sent this test to my (ex) A's family in hopes they'd realize it's not only the A who needs help and meetings.

JT

To the top..

margo

I was searching through the forum this afternoon for something else, but this caught my eye. Thought now would be a good time to bring it to the top again.

EmotionalMeg

Great post... and great timing

I remember taking this test a while back and I answered YES to 99% of them... But now, my answers aremore like NOT ANY MORE!

To the top again

Meg

2stop

That was very interesting. I had 12 yes's. hmmmm.

Many hugs and hope too,
Tammie

2stop

You know what that post really got me thinking..When my brother lived up here with me this past year he really did some damage, I have feeling guilty because I'm too emotionally drained to write him, I know trying to shoot yourself with a shotgun is serious and he needs to be loved but I am angry with him. While living here he got so drunk so much, he knocked my neighbor's screen door up and tried to start a fight at 3 in the morning, he took my 9 yr old son to a bar with him, he came home one night singing I am Timmy Taliban down the street in front of my house and would try to kick ME out of my own house when he was really drunk!! And I am still finding beer and whiskey bottles.....sorry ladies I just had to get that all out! Thanks for listening!

Many hugs and hope too,
Tammie

Ann

Wow - It is almost a year since that thread ran and where I answered yes 17 times last year, this year I only answered yes once.

Now that doesn't mean I don't need my program - it means my program is working.

Thanks JT for writing it and Margo for bringing it back up.

Sarah2003

I took the test twice.......

First thinking back to 4 months ago.....I said yes 16.

And how I am right now.....I said yes to 7.

I'd say that's progress! Thanks for posting this. It's nice to see some progress in how I am.

S

ml22

I knew the questions and the answers to this test. I have been down this road before. My husband is an alcoholic who was sober nearly fourteen years and has been drinking again for twenty months. I took this test to try to shake myself out of this denial I'm in. I have been gone from this for so very long that I really don't want to be here posting this, for that makes it real and I am having alot of difficulty with that.

Hangin' In

ML,

I hate to admit this but it's post like your's that scare me to death. Sober 14 years and your husband started drinking again? Big sigh....I'm so sorry. Yep, sounds like you need to pick up the ole Al Anon program again. Do it for yourself, ML, and your sanity!

Hang in there, gal.

Hugs,

Hangin' In

ml22

I'm not trying to scare anyone just looking for someone who understands

matters

I said yes to too many of these questions! Glad you brought this to the top. Welcome ml22!! so glad you are here!! There is alot of support here for you. We are going through this together one day at a time!!!!
take care,
matters

sic-n-tired

Yes, everything is so true. I am so tired of finding reasons. I want to give up but part of me doesn't want to. Is that crazy

ml22

Tired is what we must become to take action we must become tired ot how it is and want the better life as someone ll we want is what every normal person wants, respect.

Hangin' In

ML,

Didn't mean anything mean by my comment of being scared by your comment (who's on first?...lol). I guess if my A had 14 years of sober time and then fell off, I'd be feeling just like you. Somehow I think I'd feel safer with 14 years but you have pointed out that we are never safe or home free, I guess. And I guess that is the biggest reason for continuing to work our program because this disease is cunning baffling and powerful. And NO ONE is safe unless they are working their program...meaning US AND THEM!

Hangin' In

CATLVR

17 no's, wow what a wake-up call. Yes I to am sick-n-tired and this forum has helped me realize that I am not crazy. I am a codie and need to break the cycle. I knew my husband was an A when we met, but thought I could fix him and that our love for each other could cure all... It's taken me 11 years to find out I can not change him, he has to want to change.

So glad to be here!

jessieandme2003

Wow, I also remember the frist time I read these a few mo ths ago. I am thrilled to see I've gone from nearly all yes's to nearly all no's. There are still a few I have to work on, but thats real progress. My only fear is that many of my no's are because I am currently separated from my AH. If he continues in sobriety and we reconcile, I wonder how many I will STILL be able to say not to honestly. I better work my program hard to be prepared for that. This list coming back was great timing for me. Thanks.