Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > New to Addiction and Recovery? > Newcomers to Recovery
Forgot Password? Join Us!
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read Chat Room [2]


Welcome to the Sober Recovery Community

Already registered? Login above ---^
OR
To take advantage of all Posting, Chatting, Gaming, and all the features available at SoberRecovery, join the over 100,000 current members, and become a member of our supportive community today! Ads will no longer appear on the forums, once you register.



Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 02-12-2010, 06:34 PM   #1 (permalink)
DRI
Member
 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 6
Can an alcoholic ever drink again in moderation?

Hello everyone,

I'm 36 years old, and I was/am an alcoholic. The last drink I had was in August of 2007, so it's been about 2 1/2 years.

What I'd like to know is if there are any former alcoholics that have ever returned to 'casual', or 'social' drinking and been able to keep it under control?

I used to go out to bars all the time and drink, but my real problems started when I began to drink alone, and basically got drunk nearly everyday by myself at home in front of my computer listening to music, and while surfing online.

Once it got to the point that I was always drinking alone, I would rarely ever drink in a social setting anymore, unless people nearly literally dragged me out of the house.

What I'd like to know is if it would be possible for me to try to drink again in a social setting only. I know some people might say, well, I've been off the drink for over 2 years, so why even bother risking it?

Well, part of the reason is that my social life has suffered somewhat since I don't go out much, and I used to like having the feeling of a little buzz while being at a bar and talking to girls. Part of my problem is that I'm a little shy by nature, and alcohol would really help me overcome that so that I found talking to girls easier.

Are there any success stories of former alcoholics being able to try to drink again but keep it under control? For me, the beginning of the end would be the day I brought a bottle home and started to drink alone, but I think that if I only drank in social situations that I would be ok.

Any advice/stories/opinions would be greatly appreciated.
DRI is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2010, 06:38 PM   #2 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 31,181
I believe that once you cross the invisible line, there is no turning back. I heard that from Betty Ford.

If I started drinking socially, I would immediately start obsessing about alcohol and I won't give myself over to alcohol again.
__________________
Photobucket

Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is.

Sara Bareilles & Jack Antonoff "Brave"
Anna is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
din (02-15-2010), Fiona630 (04-13-2010), least (02-13-2010), Lenina (02-12-2010), scaredykat (02-14-2010), SoberSoFar (04-13-2010)
Old 02-12-2010, 06:43 PM   #3 (permalink)
Just livin' the dream
 
suki44883's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Somewhere Out There
Posts: 14,619
I think it's a bad idea. Your time could be better spent learning how to interact with people without alcohol. There are plenty of things to do that don't involve alcohol if you are looking to spice up your social life.
__________________
"The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone is the character of the person walking the path."
- Travis Alexander


"So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key."
- The Eagles
suki44883 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to suki44883 For This Useful Post:
Fubarcdn (02-13-2010), least (02-13-2010)
Old 02-12-2010, 06:46 PM   #4 (permalink)
Om, Aum, Ohm...
 
Sugah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,715
I had various periods of abstinence from alcohol -- I used the "marijuana maintenance" plan for a year, got pregnant with my son (and stopped smoking pot), carried almost ten months, nursed for almost a year, so about three years off booze. The day I picked back up, I drank alcoholically. With my daughter, I was abstinent for about eighteen months. Same thing. I swore off booze (but kept smoking pot and doing cocaine) for almost six years, and again, picked back up and was off to the proverbial races.

I no longer try to convince myself that I can be a social drinker.

Peace & Love,
Sugah
__________________

There's a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done
Keep me in your heart for awhile

ANS 01/29/86-08/04/08
DAS 02/27/73-05/11/10
AJH - 06/01/69-06/16/12
MLM 07/11/61-01/14/13
Sugah is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Sugah For This Useful Post:
least (02-13-2010), Lenina (02-12-2010), scaredykat (02-14-2010)
Old 02-12-2010, 06:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
Om, Aum, Ohm...
 
Sugah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,715
P.S. If the only place I socialized was my AA group, I'd have a pretty full dance card.
__________________

There's a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done
Keep me in your heart for awhile

ANS 01/29/86-08/04/08
DAS 02/27/73-05/11/10
AJH - 06/01/69-06/16/12
MLM 07/11/61-01/14/13
Sugah is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Sugah For This Useful Post:
24hrsAday (02-12-2010), clifty2 (04-13-2010), GeeQ (02-12-2010), intention (02-13-2010), scaredykat (02-14-2010)
Old 02-12-2010, 06:54 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 200
Maybe some social events that don't involve bars/clubs? I completely get the "social lubricant" and empathize fully but maybe if it were a booze-free situation, it might take a little bit of pressure off of you. Or maybe a "mocktail" so you have something in your hand.

Other than that, I assume that if you've been sober for over two years there's a reason (as stated - hiding out at home and online, drinking progressively, turning things around) so it seems like a bit of a tragedy to toss it away like that. You could check out the social news/opinion website, reddit(.com), and look through the "AskReddit" section as I recall loads of Q&A posts regarding everything from alcoholism to how to meet potential partners and everything in between throughout the years.

Best.
__________________

I Explode Out And The Peace Is Gone
Bathed In New Light
I Cry And I Cry - Disconnected
A Ruined Brain Put On Breasts
And Fed By Sleepwalkers
--Sigur Rós - "Svefn g englar"
MeAndOnlyMe is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MeAndOnlyMe For This Useful Post:
GeeQ (02-12-2010), least (02-13-2010)
Old 02-12-2010, 06:55 PM   #7 (permalink)
Just livin' the dream
 
suki44883's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Somewhere Out There
Posts: 14,619
I don't think you're going to find too many people here who will tell you they think it's okay to start drinking again. I agree with Anna that there is a line that, once crossed, pretty much makes it impossible for an alcoholic to ever drink socially again.

It might help you to keep one thing in mind...You stopped drinking for a reason.
__________________
"The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone is the character of the person walking the path."
- Travis Alexander


"So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key."
- The Eagles
suki44883 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to suki44883 For This Useful Post:
GeeQ (02-12-2010), least (02-13-2010), scaredykat (02-14-2010)
Old 02-12-2010, 06:59 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
nocoincidence56's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Central, La.
Posts: 422
If you accept being alcoholic then NO.
It's good you posted this because it reminds me trying to rationalize using somewhere down the road. Never worked. When I really got sober it was with acceptance of who/what I am, understanding I can't drink/use now, or ever. Of course, I just don't have to drink/use today.

Hope you let go the idea of drinking somewhere down the road, because it hint's at not really being in surrender/acceptance of your alcoholism. Once you arrive there you will know without asking, I can't drink now, or ever.

Wish you the best in your journey........

Peace

__________________
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Viktor E. Frankl
nocoincidence56 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to nocoincidence56 For This Useful Post:
daisy1 (02-13-2010), din (02-15-2010), GeeQ (02-12-2010), least (02-13-2010), scaredykat (02-14-2010), yorkshirestar (02-13-2010)
Old 02-12-2010, 07:01 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Chagrin Falls, Ohio
Posts: 35
I know for a fact that I can't drink socially like non-alcoholics. It would start with one drink, then I'd drink every drop of vodka within reach and beyond till I fell over...again.

I used to love drinking in groups because I could be a social butterfly (for lack of a more masculine term ). Yeah, people would love me, I'd be the life of the party, women loved me (or I'd convince myself they did). The thing is, though, beyond my exhuberant facade, I'd still be the miserable, sad, and lost person that drove me to drink in the first place.

With me, I recognize that drinking made me someone I am not. I am a good person, I am shy, and I have a hard time relating to some people. I was born that way and I am meant to be that way, though I am finding I am starting to come out of my shell every day of sobriety and working my steps.

I wish you the best in your decision. Take care~GeeQ
GeeQ is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to GeeQ For This Useful Post:
a fallen man (02-12-2010), dignityback (02-14-2010), freespirit78 (02-13-2010), least (02-13-2010), nocoincidence56 (02-13-2010), Omega10 (02-14-2010), suki44883 (02-12-2010)
Old 02-12-2010, 07:03 PM   #10 (permalink)
Forum Moderator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Strailya
Posts: 85,600
Blog Entries: 1
Add me to the crossing the invisible line list DR1.
I used to socialise and get drunk - and then come home and drink more.
Eventually I forgot about going out.

I spent 20 years trying to drink, but not be an alcoholic.
The last 3 years since I gave up on that have been the best of my life

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
24hrsAday (02-12-2010), least (02-13-2010), nocoincidence56 (02-13-2010), scaredykat (02-14-2010)
Old 02-12-2010, 07:14 PM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
24hrsAday's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Living in Today!
Posts: 3,136
Wink

DRI: i Always Drank Heavily When i Drank.. in My Experience After A Period of Sobriety i Would Start out Drinking Somewhat Less Than i Was.. But.. Quickly Pick Right Back Up To Where i Was When i Stopped.
__________________
"We Realize We Know Only a Little. God Will Constantly Disclose More To You and to Us" BB 1st Edition p.164
24hrsAday is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to 24hrsAday For This Useful Post:
dignityback (02-14-2010), Fiona630 (04-13-2010), least (02-13-2010), nocoincidence56 (02-13-2010), Rev (04-14-2010)
Old 02-12-2010, 07:33 PM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
yeahgr8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,404
Blog Entries: 8
If you are an alcoholic you are heading into the biggest nightmare of your life with this thinking...

I won't post too much but you should stick around on this site and do some reading, i have many questions for you but they are for later:-)

yeahgr8 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to yeahgr8 For This Useful Post:
least (02-13-2010), nocoincidence56 (02-13-2010), Sneezy (02-13-2010), SoberSoFar (04-13-2010)
Old 02-12-2010, 08:02 PM   #13 (permalink)
Psalm 118:24
 
CAPTAINZING2000's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 11,390
Blog Entries: 1


Never heard of a pickle turning back into a cucumber either!!
__________________
LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU
WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE
IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD


J - Jesus first
O - Others next
Y - Yourself last

John 14:6
CAPTAINZING2000 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to CAPTAINZING2000 For This Useful Post:
AchilleysTendon (04-13-2010), least (02-13-2010), MeAndOnlyMe (02-13-2010), nocoincidence56 (02-13-2010), Omega10 (02-14-2010), sarah78 (02-13-2010), scaredykat (02-14-2010), Spawn (02-15-2010), Stereosteveo (02-13-2010)
Old 02-12-2010, 08:04 PM   #14 (permalink)
same planet...different world
 
barb dwyer's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: butte mt
Posts: 10,942
Blog Entries: 7
Keeping it simple : no.
__________________
Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad.
barb dwyer is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to barb dwyer For This Useful Post:
least (02-13-2010), nocoincidence56 (02-13-2010), sarah78 (02-13-2010), scaredykat (02-14-2010)
Old 02-12-2010, 08:25 PM   #15 (permalink)
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 16,060
Welcome DRI. All I can tell you is - I wanted with all my heart for that to be possible. I spent years trying everything so I wouldn't have to give it up completely. In the process I left a trail of destruction behind me. DUI's, ruined relationships, health problems - until in the end I feared for my life.

Only you know why you decided to give it up in the first place. There must have been a good reason. Most of us here couldn't advise picking up again. It has devastated and sucked the life out of us. We wouldn't want to see you risk your health and sanity. Whatever you decide, please be careful.
Hevyn is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:
24hrsAday (02-13-2010), Dee74 (02-12-2010), least (02-13-2010), nocoincidence56 (02-13-2010), scaredykat (02-14-2010), Sneezy (02-13-2010)
Old 02-12-2010, 08:33 PM   #16 (permalink)
Laozi Old Man
 
Boleo's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 4,969
Quote:
Originally Posted by DRI View Post

What I'd like to know is if it would be possible for me to try to drink again in a social setting only. I know some people might say, well, I've been off the drink for over 2 years, so why even bother risking it?
Alcoholism is ALWAYS progressive. Taking a month, year or decade off makes no difference.
__________________


>>> If it makes sense - It ain't spiritual!

- All Big Book quotes are from first Edition -
Boleo is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Boleo For This Useful Post:
din (02-15-2010), least (02-13-2010), nocoincidence56 (02-13-2010)
Old 02-12-2010, 08:45 PM   #17 (permalink)
Member
 
Spawn's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
I've been asked that question many times,..........

when can an alcoholic safely drink?

My answer has always been the same. "when they close the lid"
Spawn is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Spawn For This Useful Post:
din (02-15-2010), HumbleBee (02-13-2010), least (02-13-2010), nocoincidence56 (02-13-2010), yorkshirestar (02-13-2010)
Old 02-12-2010, 08:46 PM   #18 (permalink)
Member
 
north's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Overseas... on the shore of an uncharted desert isle.
Posts: 254
There are all kinds of drinking problems. You indicated yours was while drinking alone. Mine was while drinking with others. One might even try to classify by choice of poison - wine, beer, whiskey or vodka. Not saying that what you propose is impossible - however, to me it sounds like some of the controlled drinking experiments many of us had before deciding to quit altogether: switching to wine instead of Scotch, drinking only after a full stomach, alternating drinks with a glass of water, drinking only at home, drinking only outside the home, drinking only after work, or only on the weekends ... I'd say the odds are heavily against you and the penalty for being wrong pretty damned steep.
north is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to north For This Useful Post:
daisy1 (02-13-2010), least (02-13-2010), nocoincidence56 (02-13-2010)
Old 02-12-2010, 09:02 PM   #19 (permalink)
Member
 
sailorjohn's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,823
Quote:
Originally Posted by DRI View Post
Any advice/stories/opinions would be greatly appreciated.

Welcome!!!

Better you than me.
__________________
Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.
sailorjohn is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to sailorjohn For This Useful Post:
least (02-13-2010), nocoincidence56 (02-13-2010)
Old 02-12-2010, 10:26 PM   #20 (permalink)
Member
 
soap's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 23
i have a very similar story as i am a shy person by nature and use alcohol to feel comfortable and happy in social situations. i have made a lot of good drinking friends and completely enjoy drinking beer with them. but after i became an alcoholic, i started to drink alone. i usually surf the internet and play video games while i fall into my comfortable buzz.

at 36, i have now been heavily drinking for 9 years. i have always had little rules that have saved me somewhat like not drinking till 5:30 or buying my typical 8 pack. also i have quit periodically like a lot of people. i have made 3 serious sober runs over the years that had to do with health concerns and spending more time w/ the computer than w/ the very friends i coveted.

the 1st run lasted 2 months, the 2nd 4 months, and my last one lasted 6 months. i always lose a lot of weight, exercise, and get to the point where i say this isn't so bad. and each time the thing that brought me back was missing my old social life with my friends. i would still visit my friends while sober but it just isn't the same. i wanted that old social feeling and laughter. when sober, i'm just not that fun to be around. and after each relapse, i always had a plan that i was convinced would work. it would usually start w/ only drinking one day a week w/ friends. but that was never the fun i remember because i got so ripped that it was like a manic drinking session. so then it would become only on weekends. the second day would not feel so manic, more of the comfortable buzz i remember. but eventually after a few successful weeks or months of drinking reasonably, i would fall back to old patterns. continuing different plans, stopping for a day or two but always, always falling back to the worst.

and after each relapse, the following bender would be worse with more alcohol and worse health concerns. recently i have developed sleep apnea, hurt my knee, back problems, etc..

so my advice to you is to not chance it. try some different things like taking adult classes, painting, yoga, or something you enjoy. where you can be in social situations but can also focus on a task to take the social edge off.
soap is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to soap For This Useful Post:
adambomb (04-13-2010), Dee74 (02-12-2010), fragrantrose (04-13-2010), freespirit78 (02-13-2010), Jackstone (02-15-2010), least (02-13-2010), nocoincidence56 (02-13-2010), northfork (02-14-2010), Omega10 (02-14-2010), postparty82 (02-14-2010), Rev (04-14-2010), sarah78 (02-13-2010), scaredykat (02-14-2010), Sneezy (02-13-2010), topspin (04-13-2010)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:27 AM.


 
National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Centers
 
Drug Rehab | Best Treatment Center | Detox Center | Residential Treatment Center
Cocaine/Crack Treatment | Alcohol Rehab | Heroin/Oxycontin Treatment Center | Crystal Meth Treatment | Marijuana Treatment | Methadone Treatment | Suboxone Treatment
 
Local Treatment Resources and Events
 
Alabama | Alaska | Arizona | Arkansas | California | Colorado | Connecticut | DC | Delaware
Florida | Georgia | Hawaii | Idaho | Illinois | Indiana | Iowa | Kansas | Kentucky | Louisiana | Maine
Maryland | Massachusetts | Michigan | Minnesota | Mississippi | Missouri | Montana | Nebraska | Nevada | New Hampshire
New Jersey | New Mexico | New York | North Carolina | North Dakota | Ohio | Oklahoma | Oregon | Pennsylvania | Rhode Island
South Carolina | South Dakota | Tennesee | Texas | Utah | Vermont | Virginia | Washington | West Virginia | Wisconsin | Wyoming

© 2013 Internet Brands. | Privacy Policy
A proud member of the SoberRecovery® Network of Addiction and Recovery Websites