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|11-22-2003, 07:57 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Coral Gables, Florida
Living with a sober alcoholic in aa program
I live with an alcoholic who is sober an going to aa meetings.
I myself look for help in my own program (alanon).
Whenever I try to be intimate and share some of my present and past experiences with him, he is always denying my own perception of things, and inserts his own view point over my thoughts. My whole purpose in sharing with him is just for him to listen and to understand me better.
Instead of listening, he tries to fix me. The end result, is that he is f**king up my life. I am seeing that it is no longer healthy for me to live or interact with him anymore, even sober. He still is very blind to how he damages my own life by rescueing me from my problems, and then he tries to set a timetable for me to make things managable in my life, and when it doesn't suit his timing, and he becomes impatient, he forces me to make choices that I am ill prepared to make in my own timing. In other words, he judges (persecutes) my need to go at my own pace, and tries to push me to create solutions. The end result, is that my life has now become a diseaster.
My whole family has been affect by alcoholism's wonderful effects. It is like we are experiencing an "emotional hangover" after the alcoholics have gotten sober.
At this stage in live, they have rescused me out of problems, only to throw me back out into the world (to the wolves), especially when I am not able to deal with them.
The conclusion of this, is that I may need to detach from my biological family so I can start to see the world differently, and from a new perspective.
I am hoping this is the right approach to take. I welcome feedback and replies. Thank you
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